to my surprise,
i havent thought about him much the past two days.

i realize my heart is so torn
i have been trying to go two different directions

purity of heart is to will one thing.
to will ONE thing.

  . . .   . . .   . . .

Lord, i desire to quiet
all other voices
so that i may hear Yours.

i want to make space for You
i need to clear the clutter

i wish i could - i wish i would - put aside the time
i fill with fruitless entertainment
and otherworldly gratification
and spend it listening to you 
feeding off your Word
your bread of life


i wish i could stop rotting inside.

how can i live
so that my actions please you?
use my voice to offer you praises
my conversations
my interactions
my work
my thoughts
my meals
my money
my rest....
how can i live a life like Christ my Lord


how can i meet you
so that i come away changed




my God,
it is my desire to be a new creation
to be reborn
given a clean heart
and a new spirit
to live again


i know not your strength nor your power to live by
nor how to turn mere words into true repentance
i need ceaseless floods of your grace


i cannot take these dark nights of my soul alone