wow the semester is over in 4 days and this is my second post of the year.

i'm at my breaking point. i desperately need the summer off.

i feel so out of control
i want to sleep for 2 months and wake up refreshed, refocused and ready to go
but i know thats not how it happens.
i gotta get a grip.
but its like the harder i come down on myself the more i lose control

i dont know how to win that battle with myself

i feel like i'm Jacob wrestling with the Lord until the dawn
until finally i face what i am

i'm out of prayers. i'm out of heart and spirit.
there's nothing left in me.
it's like poison has sucked the life out of me.

do i want to be well?